my mom: the ultimate compromiser?

Posted under Uncategorized by mel

when i was 15, i beggggged my mom for a pair of bum-kicking combat boots. we were shoe shopping and she watched me try on a pair. my pulse started to race as i realized that i just might get them! just when i had the taste of victory on my tongue (which tastes an awful lot like chocolate brioche), she asks if i’d rather have a pair of brown penny loafers. WHA? um, what kind of braniac actually thinks that brown penny loafers are even in the same galaxy as combat boots? then she added the ultimate insult. “i’ll even give you pennies to put in them!” there are many things i could say about that statement, but i don’t think i need to explain why 2 pennies was such a ridiculous way of trying to sway your 15 year old goth chick daughter to suddenly realize that yes, she did in fact want a pair of brown penny loafers. did she think that suddenly the addition of 2 cents would suddenly jolt me into wanting to be a preppy freak like her? she bought them for me anyway and they were placed in the seat of honor in the back of my closet reserved for only the most embarrassing items that my mother chose to push upon me. yes, they lived out their days next to the hand made minnie mouse jumpsuit that she got me for my 13th birthday (yes, minnie mouse…13 years old. that was not a typo)

flash forward 11 years. i still have the dang things. what’s more? i wore them for the first time today. today, the first day of my adult life. and i wore the damn brown penny loafers (sans pennies…she didn’t make good on her deal). maybe they work at work for some workers, but not this worker. sure, they are all “adult” and stuff, but well…i’ll just give you the visuals to explain.

any questions?

moving on…

i have a fabbity fab office! my boss was really apologetic that they hadn’t made it up perfectly for me, but i didn’t mind at all. i set to work making it neat and tidy. here’s some befores:

and here’s after (the extra 6-7 chairs will be removed soon…)

that bookcase is fill with a lot of interesting books like Reclaiming Youth at Risk: Our Hope for the Future, The Physicians’ Desk Reference, and my personal favorite What Makes Pornography “Sexy”.

ANOTHER REASON TO LOVE MY HUSBAND:
when i got home he had made me this:

it’s an “over 18 year old” origami rabbit since i am now an adult…i named him alberto gonzales in honor of his royal majesty’s most recently vamoosed.

lastly, it has come to my attention that my aunt debi reads this. ahem: aunt debi. i love you. you are awesome. but…i just want to let you know that when you told me that it was ok to sew over horizontal straight pins, you were wrong. it is most certainly NOT ok. unless you are wearing safety glasses of course, which i do not while sewing. i should sue you for the number of sewing needles that have broken on straight pins as well as for the pain and suffering of just realizing that i almost had a shard of sharp metal embedded into my eye. but since i am you and you are me, i forgive us. <3