there are answers out there
i have this widget on my google page that boasts an array of “things to ponder.” the purpose is to make an observation such as “why do we park in driveways and drive in parkways?” that have seemingly no explanation or are just logically fallible. what i have found is that most of them are stupid. the answers are too obvious. i would bet money that most of the questions were made up by people that were smoking a little too much pipe weed. i have answered a few below. before you ask, no, i didn’t look up the answers. i just went on what i already knew as well as adding a few “virtual verbal eye rolling” to the more stupid questions.
“What is the definition of “is”?”
-the third person conjugation of the verb “to be”
“If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?”
-who said work is terrific? but if someone did, they probably didn’t mean that it was fun. the phrase must be understood in it’s context.
” Why do dogs lick themselves is it because they itch or does it taste that good?”
-because their saliva acts as a healing ointment.
“If its against the Law to drink and drive. Then why are there parking lots at Bars. ”
-because not everyone that goes to a bar drinks
“Why do store signs say “No Bare feet?” Don’t you have to be a bear?”
-no, if you had to be a bear they would have written bear not bare.
“Why did God give men nipples?”
-because when we are developing we are all asexual until a certain point in the gestation period. we all grow nipples before that point.
“Why does soda taste better in a small bottle than in a large bottle or in a can?”
-i believe that it tastes better in a large bottle personally, but the reason they taste different is because the container’s chemical composition effect the taste of the soda.
” If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?”
-in order for sound to be created, there must be a receptor so unless there are animals/people near enough to hear it, no.
“Why don’t we get goosebumps on our face?”
-some people actually do, but most don’t because their muscles/hair follicles are not as sensitive.
“Why are movie theaters always so cold?”
-because the air conditioning is on…it’s on so high because when a lot of people are packed into a small space, their body heat raises the whole room temperature. the same thing happens in places where there is a lot of electronic equipment. the computers need lowered temperatures so that they don’t overheat.
“Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for monosyllabic?”
-why should their be? the word is used to define another word with one syllable, not itself.
“Why is a keyboard called a keyboard if it just has little buttons?”
-because the buttons are called keys.
“How is it possible to have a civil war?”
-ever heard of ghandi? laws of war? the geneva convention?
“Why does the Indiana driver’s license include in its list of possible restrictions “B” for “Blind”?”
-because legally blind doesn’t mean you can’t see at all. it’s a spectrum of functioning.
“If a turtle doesn’t have a shell is he homeless or naked?”
-neither. he’s dead. the shell is part of the turtle’s anatomy. if someone took off your skin, would you be homeless or naked?
“why do people want to know what people think of them?”
-because humans are predisposed to socialization. back in the old days, if you weren’t part of a tribe you most likely didn’t make it. modern humans have evolved with a need to be accepted.
“If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?”
-i am not even going to touch this one. but i did want to point out that this is one of the most annoying logical fallacies out there. can you say “non sequitur?”
“If taught, do gorillas really understand sign language?”
-well, they understand that a symbol creates a reaction of some sort. just as if i called the asker of this question a jackarse i would know that they wouldn’t be too pleased. so yes, they understand.
“Why do we pay tolls on the freeway?”
-we don’t. we pay tolls on toll roads not freeways.
“Why is it that when you are driving and looking for an address you turn the radio down?”
-because the noise overstimulates us and interferes with our ability to concentrate.
“Why are most homes white?”
-because white was the easiest color to paint. it also served the function of reflecting light so houses would stay cooler in the pre-air conditioned world. the color is popular still because it’s considered “quaint”
“If a cow laughed would milk come out its nose?”
-no because cows don’t laugh and even if they did, they don’t drink milk. this happens to humans because the nasal cavities are not closed off from the throat.
“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
-if you take into consideration that the word practice is synonymous with career and discipline then no, not unnerving to me.
“If you set to work with a knife that will cut through anything and Tupperware that’s guaranteed not to break, what happens?”
-the tupperware is cut through. when they say it won’t “break” they actually mean that it won’t melt, chip, or crack under NORMAL conditions. cutting with a knife is not a normal condition.
“Why do we buy a product that takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?”
-because we aren’t trying to get rid of it. we want it to stay. moron.
“Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?”
-as long as there are no dead animals in them. (my brother used to torture me with this one)
“Isn’t Disneyland a people trap operated by a mouse?”
-i agree totally. metaphorically speaking it is a human trap.
“If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him…is he still wrong?”
-the absence of a woman doesn’t mean men are suddenly smart.
“If a person kills their clone is it murder or suicide? ”
-that would be murder as suicide is an act on the self, not others…even if they are just like you.
“If you can’t drink and drive why do gas stations sell beer?”
-yet another non sequitur. who said you have to drink it while driving?
