oh do i have tales

Posted under reads, uber pro(jects) aka crafties, see see see!, Munch munch crunch crunch by mel

here’s the first spittle from a baby on my shirt!

a total don’t look now moment:

will wonders never cease?:

special breakfast! i don’t know what got into him:

cheesy potato soup with soy bacon bits:

happy birthday kim kim!

i truly wanted to steal her daughter. she came into the office and while everyone was singing happy birthday to kim, walked over to me and said “i like your shoes” to which i replied, “i like yours too!” as she had on some really rad sparkely flats. the she smiled and hugged my legs. i could have cried it was so sweet. the rest of the party kind of went that way. she would come up to me and smile and hug me. at the end i told her i was taking her home so she grabbed around my neck and i pretended to take her out of the office. surprised at the lack of protest, she called my bluff and i took her back to her parents (but not before she was distracted by the candy dish and i held her up to choose her poison).

the most delicious chip ever (extra curly):

when i was little my grandma jones used to pick out all the curly chips in the bag and give them to me. she thinks i’m special!

a common occurrence in clarksville…with commentary:

i was waiting to get an oil change and was flipping though reality magazines. they have some really bizarre ways of advertising their product. for example:

here is a taste of just a few comments i had on this piece:

******************ADDENDUM**************

my ever so smart, darling, adorable, cleaver, witty, and not to mention miniaturized version of me, lauren, has pointed out the the following picture/diatribe combo is inaccurate as the dog in the following picture is actually a boxer, not a pit bull…but i’m leaving it in here for a few reasons.  first, to show that i am fallable.  yes, it can happen.  2, to show that even someone that knows a bit about dogs can get the breed wrong and therefore misreport events thus strengthening my argument.  and lastly, because i spent a while writing in and i don’t feel like deleting it.  so there.

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nothing says “buy property from me” like a pit bull:

i think that the lady just didn’t think about how pit bulls are viewed in society but just wanted to show that she is “just like you” and has animals. however, i must give her props for actually owning a pit bull. my mom thinks that they should be eradicated because she’s seen so many people hurt by them in the hospitals she’s worked at, but what most people don’t realize is that it’s not the pit bulls fault! there are a lot of shitey people in the world and some of them train these dogs to fight. the staffordshire terrior (pit bull) is actually one of the most loving and devoted breeds of dog out there. their attacks are due to their desire to please their owner.

aw..a schnauzer…that’s better.

my love dove got me monopoly for the pc since he has lost all the confidence he could spare loosing to me in RL. here’s what i did to the computer characters, just to give you an idea of how fierce i am.:

need a closer look?

my properties…this is what i do to my victi..err worthy opponents:

new pretty shirt:

made it from the same pattern as:

so flipping easy. i highly recommend it as an easy project for new sewers

i will make 1 item of clothing free for the first person who can leave a comment explaining why this is funny. hint: think about something i like and combine it with what this literally is. (oh, and these are soy if you were wondering…but that has nothing to do with the answer). think kids. think:

i finally joined wardrobe remix as i have been drooling over the site for weeks now. it will take a lot of dedication to keep it up as i need to get over the fact that i don’t generally like having my picture taken. but this shall pass as i know i am making a difference in the world by sharing my POV on fashion and accessories.

i can’t help it but i started 3 books and i am halfway through all of them. i keep trading off as i just can’t stay away from any of them for long enough to finish one.

the dark hills divide: the land of elyon: i read a couple chapters of this earlier this year and wasn’t taken. i picked it up again at a whim and have since fell in love with it. mostly i think this is due to the characters being close representations of the people i love so much in real life. most of the characters pick on each other relentlessly but there is no ill will and no one takes offense. that’s just their sense of humor. i dream of a time when i can have friends like this. i already do actually, but they are few in number and spaced out geographically. we need to get together and start a commune.
the book actually got me thinking a lot about why it is that people are put off by me. like i said, i like to pick at people, but i have realized that most people are very insecure and anxious about how they are perceived. any jibe, no matter how innocent plunges them into defense mode. i have not made them laugh but rather made them feel like they need to make sure they perform double time to counter act any possible damage i might have created by making those around us think badly of them. for example, once upon a time i met a girl and she asked me my major. i said psychology and she said, with a truly perplexed/disgusted face “WHY?” i could not help but to crack up. i thought it was hilarious. she laughed to and thanked me for getting her joke.
taking a cue from her, i met someone some time later and asked their major but this time when i asked the question “WHY?” with what i believed to be the same facial structure/vocal timing as my mentor, she became visibly insulted. i told her i was just picking at her but it was too late. she was insulted that i could possibly “challenge” her like that even if only in jest. the only thing more frustrating than this is that when people are one on one with me, they actually CAN take the jokes. it’s only when there are others around that my prods become “insults”

shucks. anyhow, so yeah, the characters in this book are fabbity fab.

the silver crown: this one is strangely addictive. a normal girl receives a crown on her 10th birthday then all hell breaks loose. i think it’s so interesting because it’s a modern (well, modern for the 60’s) story mixed in with seemingly ancient mysticism. but even the “older” feel is updated. think: baz luhrmann’s take on romeo and juliet. updated old style. me likey.

theodosia and the serpents of chaos: theo is an adorable chicka who is hella smarter than most of the adults around her. they all treat her like she can’t take care of herself but i find it strangely familiar that the adults are actually the ones that are being taken care of by her…it’s not like they can magic away ancient egyptian curses.

sorry, but i just couldn’t get into ender’s game. i like to think i’m pretty good at suspending disbelief, but a 6 year old that smart that isn’t an idiot savant? sorry, it’s just not in me.