nap time

Posted by mel on June 10th, 2009 filed in Loxley

so my darling is laying down for a nap in her bouncer (A GODSEND!) and all my chores are done (for now) so i thought i'd give an update.

if i could teach a class on parenting, it would go something like this:

"hello class, there is one rule of parenting...here it is...do not plan anything...and if you do, know that you will probably change your tune.  class dismissed."

that's a big one.  NO PLANS PEOPLE...NO PLANS!

here's one that i had to change real quick: i had planned to use half prefold cloth diapers w/covers and the other half one size AIOs (bumGenius 3.0). welllllll turns out that i will be 86ing the prefolds in favor of all AIOs (which i will hopefully be purchasing tomorrow). here are the reasons:
1. she grows out of prefolds very quickly and, as it turns out, it would still cost about $200 more bucks over her diaper lifetime so why wouldn't i just pay another $100 onto that up front to get all AIO's?
2. no one (even people who have used prefolds before) will use them when changing her so that means i am the only person that has to put in the extra (albeit little) more to change her
3. the snappis are uncomfortable for her and pins scare me so i won't use them
4. the prefolds are WAY less absorbent and she cries a whole lot harder due to the discomfort of the sensation
5. AIOs are so much freakin easier and i am resolved to making everything as easy as possible

some random things: our libraries in portland are amazing. they sent us a welcome baby package that contained a card app. for Loxley, growing reader dvd & book, story book, AND 4 tickets for free books when we visit the library! i feel so blessed to live somewhere where reading is such an important part of daily life. it is wonderful to have that kind of support and encouragement.

sometimes i am completely scared of my daughter. i don't mean that she is rosemary's baby or anything, but sometimes i am just frightened that i will not be able to take care of her. like, she will cry and i will not be able to figure out what she needs. and sometimes i think i am the only person in the world that she doesn't like. she will pass out in everyone's arms if she is having a crying fit, but will calm down very slowly when i hold her. i have read that this is because she "shuts off" with other people because they are overstimulating her and that she "stays on" with me because she trusts me, but i feel absolutely horrid that i can't get my little apple tart to feel better immediately.

i feel a sense of panic sometimes that i am wasting time with Loxley when she is awake when i am not completely stimulating her.  if i am not talking, reading, bouncing, playing, or etc with her, i feel like she will be cognitively and/or emotionally stunted.

so much has changed since i became a mother and they are things i could not have foreseen:
1. i NEVER judge parents now (one exception: baby leashes...i don't think i'll ever be ok with those)
2. i have learned to do a lot with my feet
3. i have learned to survive on 6-7 hours of sleep
4. i used to be able to pay attention to a hundred things at once, but now (esp. when Loxley is crying) i can only focus on my baby
5. i have a LOT more patience for everything
6. i no longer waste energy on being offended/hurt/annoyed/angry at people. i just don't have the energy to care about negative things
7. i feel sympathy for people that i previously felt annoyed by...and i feel bad about how i used to view them
8. i thought that if i had a girl, i would still dislike pink but i admit that i almost cried after seeing my darling in her blue and green take home outfit...she looked like a boy and i hated it!

THINGS I WISH I HAD KNOWN:
1. baby poops are do not happen all at once; they are a process
2. yes, babies sleep a lot of the time, but it is erratic and most of the time you need to be holding them

3. belly buttons stink at first (of course, it IS rotting flesh...)

soundtrack of my current life:

love rollercoaster-red hot chili peppers (esp. the first few days of breastfeeding...man, if i could bottle whatever hormones were surging through my body to sell on the street...)

what a man-salt n peppa (<3 my husband is the best!)

...oh!  she's awake...tbc